Everything you know about parenting your “impossible” child is wrong. It must be wrong because if it were right and the parenting was working, you wouldn’t be reading this. Oppositional Defiant disorder is not your fault. remember the old joke “I had a child, but he didn’t come with instructions”? Well, even if you had instructions, they wouldn’t apply to this child. ODD children get parented differently, and you didn’t know that. If you have other children, who are not ODD, you know I am right, as you’ll have to admit that works for your other kids does not work for this one. Commands, reprimands, time-outs and consequences like taking toys away may work with your other children, just not for your child with the ODD diagnosis.
Does this sound familiar? Just as you lifted that first cup of coffee, you son ripped a toy from his baby sister’s hands and her piercing scream shattered your nervous system. You are exhausted and fed up. Even special time that you spend with your family is ruined by this child via an argument, a fight, or a tantrum–or all three. He or she never seems happy or satisfied. You could spend the entire day in Disney World, and your ODD child would still tantrum over something not going their way.
As a general guideline, if you can rate these behaviors as occurring often, in just four of these eight categories, your child likely has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. (1) Often angry or resentful (2) tantrums often (3) Often defiant (4) Often irritable and easily annoyed (5) Often annoys others including the family pet (6) Often argues (7) Often blames others (8) Often is vindictive (wants to get even).
A formal rating form for ODD is in my guidebook, BREAKING UP WITH ODD, for eliminating this disorder. If you recognize the descriptions of ODD that I have provided here, seek a professional evaluation at any outpatient behavioral health facility that treats children. ODD is the leading cause of referral for child mental health treatment.